Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Positive, Positive, Negative, Negative, Negative???!!!

So 2 weeks ago today I took 2 pregnancy test (different brands, different times) and they both turned out positive. Jeremy and I were ecstatic especially since having been told that we might not be able to have children of our own. We quickly told his our parents and a couple of very very close friends. For the most part though we kept it very hush hush until I was able to go to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy. I had a few symptoms some slight nausea, constant tiredness, and irritability. We even bought some baby stuff to prepare. I was cautiously optimistic until it was confirmed through the doctor. A little less than 2 weeks after the test at home I went to the midwifes office and we did the initial exam and did a urine sample which was negative (although not surprised as I had been up for around 4 hrs by the time they had did that test and drank quite a bit of water as I normally do and it definitely was was not my first time going to the bathroom that day. However the midwife didn't seem concerned and wanted to do some blood work as well to just make sure. I went home to wait for the results. She first told me that she would only call if the blood work was negative and I didn't receive a call until closer to 430 today. I was hoping that by it being so late in the afternoon that it was a positive since she said I wouldn't get a call unless it was negative. When she called she told me that my blood work was negative and was anywhere remotely positive. I was told that there was only two possibilities and that was either I had false positives at home or possible had been pregnant and I caught it really early and than had a very early miscarriage or what is called a chemical pregnancy. I have done a lot of reading and research the past couple of weeks and from everything I have read it seems that false positives are very rare unless you didn't follow the instructions on the pregnancy test (which I followed to the letter of the law) and more than likely what happens is you have an early miscarriage. It all doesn't seem real as we hadn't made any announcements to many people and it was all kinda quiet at home and didn't really talk that much about the baby just because I didn't want to keep bringing it up and get my hopes up. So this doesn't at all seem real. I really believed despite the negatives that I was pregnant and that we somehow lost this precious little baby and that God took a little angel home the past couple of weeks. We both know that God is ultimately in control of everything and that for whatever the reason we had to go through this season and lesson He ultimately holds us. I don't know what the future exactly holds for us but I know the ONE who holds our future and I know that He knows His plan for us.