Today I thank God for unanswered prayers!

I should preface this by saying that I believe God answers every prayer we pray as either yes, no, or wait. So more importantly I thank God for those prayers He answered no to. I know that had He healed my mom I wouldn't have moved to Iowa and had I not moved to Iowa I wouldn't have had to move back to Florida and live completely on my own and date a guy that didn't treat me the way I was also taught a real man treats a woman; which means I wouldn't have gone thru the break up that lead to me getting onto e-harmony which lead me to meet the man of my dreams that treated me exactly how I was also told I was worth being treated and I wouldn't have married him and be serving with him in ministry now or attending a small church right around the corner from my house. I know that the life I lead right now is God's perfect will for my life. God could have said ok to those other prayers that I thought I really really really wanted but I know every no was preparation for the season of life I am in right now. God started preparing me at 9 years old for my husband. My mom was diagnosed when I was 9 with leukemia and at that point we kids had to start stepping up to the plate more and more with chores and different responsibilities around the house. If we hadn't moved to Columbus where my mom was diagnosed with the leukemia we wouldn't have necessarily moved to Florida which might have changed other aspects of my life but I wouldn't here where I am now and with who I am now. I would never have meet my best friend Michelle is as close to the sister I never had growing up that I could have without sharing any blood relation. I also wouldn't have my 2 wonderful stepsisters and my precious half-sister. I know that the pain that I felt and endured from all the no's God gave me was totally worth all of the blessings in my life. I would go thru it all again in order to be here now. God ordained every step in my life and He knew what I would have to endure in order to be the wife I needed to be and the mother one day I will be. He knew that I would have to have the strength not just physically but emotionally to have an interdependent marriage. Something I never thought I would have. While my marriage is different than anyone elses I know at the core of it, it is very much the same. I know that the difficulties and challenges that I face in my life serve to remind me that I am not in control; that God is in control and He has ordained my steps. I live the most amazing life and I sit back in awe and wonder of how I could be so blessed in order to deserve this and the truth of the matter is I don't; I don't deserve any of the blessings God has given me. First and foremost I don't deserve the gift of salvation and I could never do anything to deserve it; I can't be good enough, I can't work hard enough; can't read the bible enough; or even pray enough to deserve the amazing gift I received at 5 years old thru Jesus dying on the cross. I fail my Jesus so many times a day it seems like and all I know is I am so glad that God is far more patient with me than I would be or can be with other people. I have been listening to John Waller the past few days in worship during my quiet times and this song sums up the most of what I feel. 

Of course the title of this blog also reminds me of a country song as well