Finding my life while losing myself

Yep thats what I said... I started another blog yesterday as I also started an incredible personal journey of weight loss and healthy living and permenant lifestyle change. Come check it out and maybe leave a shout of encouragement a long the way. But remember the old adage from your momma, "If you can't say anything nice you shouldn't say anything at all" This has been an extremely personal battle that I have fought and lost (most of the time) all of my life. So I invite you to come along and watch but nasty comments or jokes will not be tolerated if you don't care about it than don't follow. I will be posting a lot there as I also plan on finding out the reasons behind why this has been a battle and hopefully and prayerfully this will no longer be a battle with me.


Finding My Life While Losing Myself a Journey to Weight Loss and Life.

Liebster Award.

I was awarded the Liebster Blog Award from someone who I consider a friend that was only made possible by blogging. Wilma at Life In Our Corner Of The World. Liebster is German for dearest, favorite or beloved.

The receipent of this award should link back to the one who gave it to her and pass it along to 5 bloggers who have less than 200 followers

So Here are my Liebster Awards

Wilma at Life in Our Corner of the World

Christy at Fearfully-Wonderfully

Adrienne at Lovng Me Now

Jessica at How BitterSweet It Is

Mary Beth at The MaryBeeBzz

All of these women behind the blogs whether they know it or not have been an inspiration and source of encouragement to me in my life.

What's been going on?

So I know it's been awhile since I posted anything so here's the long edition update! Since The last time I have updated my best friend has had her baby (YAY! Can't wait to go see my new nephew), found out we have a water leak (fun fun), had a tropical storm come thru, and lastly cooler weather has come in.


First my best friend had her first baby a little boy. Samuel Allen was born on September 1. He is one of the cutest babies I have seen. We are trying to plan a trip in the next couple of weeks. I can't wait I am so excited. I will be posting pictures from our trip if I can figure it out.


The water leak, ya so we found this out by getting a 100 dollar water bill. It was totally unexpected and the water company has not been very helpful. While we have a small small water leak somewhere it isn't the whole issue. Our meter reader is less than honest from year experience with this company. Found out that our neighbor who only has 2 people living in it had a few high bills like we are talking 15,000 gallons ain't no way and his sister who lives next door by herself and also had a 16,000 gallon bill and no leaks. The company doesn't do anything to insure that the meter is read accurately or even read every month. So tomorrow out comes the plumber which is crazy expensive, makes me want to just go dig a well and have well water so I don't have a water bill. For the locals we don't have ECUA we have a small water company a couple of miles from our house. So frustrating because our water line runs under our in-laws and next door neighbors driveway and under part of our driveway so I pray that it isn't under our driveway or theirs where the leak is. My biggest pray is that there isn't a leak at all and the issue is all on the water company. Part of me wants to go I told you so I told you that it wasn't right and I knew it was on your end. I also am doing daily meter readings myself to make sure I am getting an accurate reading on my bill.

Tropical storm lee blew thru the area causing lots of rain and wind. But the best thing about this storm was it caused it to cool off big time. Last night it was around 68 at 10 and this morning at 830 when I left my house to go babysit my baby niece it was only 64 I had to pull out a jacket. It's awesome! I was so excited to have the windows and doors open tonic and better yet none of the drifted escaped and no strays walked in although Molly probably would have taken care of them. I have the cutest video of Molly I will have t see if I can post on here or if I will have to post on YouTube or Facebook however I figure it out.

I think this covers everything will have to let y'all know what the plumber says tomorrow prayerfully this won't be expensive.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year...

...well almost. I absolutely LOVE,LOVE,LOVE fall. There isnt one thing I can think of that I dont like. One thing about living in Florida is that at least is cools down from our hot summers and this summer has been record hot at least it feels that way to me. Although this summer has been fun. I have been able to spend lots of time with my nieces and I know that will change a little more once school starts although I might actually get my baby (she doesnt think so) niece more as my sister in law is going back to school the same time my two older nieces go back to school; but anyways enough about summer. I love fall for the cooler weather, falling leaves, open windows and doors, fire in the fireplace, my anniversary, pumpkins, scarecrows (although those are actually more springtime and summer), sweaters, jackets, hot apple cider. Than there are the emotions that go along at least for me, I always feel closer to family in the fall and winter maybe because of all the holidays, and thankfulness, and gratefulness, and blessedness (if that is a word). Also another thing about fall that tops my list is that my absolute favorite holiday is coming and that is Christmas of course with Christmas comes hot cocoa and carols and christmas lights and buying presents and giving gifts. This next season makes me very reflective on all of the blessings I have in my life and how thankful I am for them. This year I do have one more thing to be very thankful for and that is the fact that I have been married for 1 year this october. I can't believe its already been a year, I thought for sure this year would go by so slowly and for whoever said that the first year of marriage is the hardest I sure wish they could have had our first year, It was actually pretty easy. I am so thankful even now.

Goal for the End of the year! (Originally titled Goal for April!)

So I have decided I definitely need to set goals in order to accomplish the rest of the unpacking. (yes after almost 11 months there are still boxes) Also I need to get the decorating on the way and finished although it took me a little over 2 years to hang up any pictures in my apartment and I already have pictures out and on the walls here already. (YAY! for that) My next goal to accomplish is to set up my office/craft room. I spent two or three hours unpacking stuff on sunday now today I am going to hopefully get some things moved into the closet and some pictures and shelves hung on the wall. I will be so happy when that is finished and I have it all done. I am on the look out for a big comfy arm chair to go in the corner for a little reading corner. So I still have boxes that need unpacking upstairs in my office. Although I have managed to get new furniture and rearrange my living room a bit and get some more stuff hung up in there. I am now working on a collage frame for our bedroom to hang up. Hopefully will be able to get that done in the next couple of weeks and hung up. I am waiting for it to really cool down before I do a lot of work upstairs as our ac has been out since the end of may on the main part of the house and as a home owner there is no landlord or anyone else to go to that will fix the ac or put in money to help so we are trying to save up the 3500.00 needed to replace the inside and outside units. Thankfully because of the way the house is built we have 3 seperate units on our house and we have air where our bedrooms and our downstairs office and dining room is at. Our roommate does have a window for her room and bathroom upstairs, which makes the house pretty managable and with all the rain we have been having we have been pretty cool in the downstairs part of the main house. Anyways I know its been forever since I have blogged on here and there really isnt anything major happening in our lives that has stopped me, life has just been busy but pretty mundane so not really anything to write about. Jeremy is going to become an ordained minister through Liberty Network, which is through our church. That will happen wednesday night and we are pretty excited about it. YAY!!!! I know this is really exciting for my hubby. We have been keeping my nieces on Sunday and monday night and part of tuesday. I am so excited because my oldest niece is coming home tomorrow from almost 2 months being gone in California with her dad and I get to have her on monday night with her sisters at my house. Tomorrow I get my baby niece which I love having she is so stinking cute and her new thing is knock knock jokes. My brother and sister in law just moved to a new house and she was so excited when I brought her back to the house she was running around saying I love my new house I love my new house. Well there isnt much else to write about not a lot new going on. I am going to try better to keep this up to date more.

Fun Friday

I know I have been incognito for a little bit now and to come back I thought I would fill out this fun little survey to get to know me a little better!
1. How close to your childhood dreams is your life now?
My childhood dreams are almost exactly where I am at right now. The one thing I need to complete those dreams and will happen in due time is babies. I am married to the man of my dreams and we work together at our church and also have our ministry.

2. What is one must have item for the summer?
A/C, Seriously!, you do not want to meet me when I am overheated.

3. Do you have your kids stay up on school stuff during summer vacation? (Or, if you don't have kiddos, did your parents make you keep up on school stuff during summer?)
My parents did not make me keep up on school stuff. I went to my granny's house during the summer and we were too busy playing to do school stuff

4. Do you can or freeze fresh produce?
No.

5. Do you get ready for the day first thing in the morning?
Nope I am a stay at home wife and somedays I do not get out of my pj's

SWW 06-15-2011

So what if...

• Its 9pm and we haven't eaten dinner yet
• its 9 pm and i am just now writing my SWW
• I think that it is amazing that 8 months has already passed since I have said I do, i thought our first year would pass slowly for some reason
• I/we choose to live without an ac for right now because we dont want to take out any loans and go into any debt and we will save up for the replacement unit, we are trying to become debt free
• I/we choose not to get a second car for right now because of the above mentioned of not wanting to get a loan and want to become debt free
• i think that my hubs and i were some of the most gorgeous babies ever seriously we were cute!
• if our power was out for 3 1/2 hours because someone hit a pole down the road I pray they are ok but we were able to be gone for most of that time
• that this is all I have its my blog and I can write what I want

Smelly!?

So I have discovered a horrible smell in my house today. Not sure what it is have checked all the trash and removed most of the garbage bags from the house (we have multiple trash cans in case you were thinking I had several bags laying around) so tomorrow I will be scrubbing floors with hot water and bleach and floor cleaner. Hopefully I can get rid of the stale smelly dirty diaper smell.

On other news, Saturday the hubs and I attempted to drive out to Robertsdale for my stepsister's graduation party and our van died about 5 minutes from my dads house. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! was all I can say about that. For any of you that can remember the craziness we had last year with our van dying all the time and noone (not even dodge(you would think that at least all of them of people would be able to figure out their own vehicle) it was not a good flash back. We managed to get it back to the house barely I mean like we pulled into the driveway and it died again. Not Cool. We get it towed over to our car shop that actually did figure out what the problem was last year and they called to tell me it was our air temp sensor that had come loose and also our throttle was very clogged and dirty. After getting that all cleaned out and plugging the sensor back in tightly they test drove it a couple of times with no problems. I picked up it up today and it ran so smooth and took off without any problems or any hesitations. YAY! Now hopefully this fix will last us at least 9 1/2 more months and than we can replace the vehicle completely.

We were also in the process of saving up to replace our ac unit that died on us right before our car died so needless to say its been a kinda stressful time lately. We are just dealing with the lack of air in the main part of our house by hanging in our bedroom and offices in the part of the house that has ac.


I guess this is all a sign that I need to really start and hit my Mary Kay business hard if I sold everything I had in stock we could replace our ac unit. Hmmm.... Now how to figure out how to get it sold anyone who is reading that would like to buy some I sell to anyone anywhere and would be happy to send you a catalogue. Just let me know.

Had my nieces over the other night and sometimes they make it so that we are glad that right now that we don't have any kids and the hubs view them at times as a great birth control. While I agree at times we still want children and wish at times we could just get preggo the old fashioned way. Especially now at times when everyone it seems is preggo around me, from family members to friends. While we are not doing anything to prevent babies right now and would be ecstatic to have 2 lines show up on a test it makes me relax to knowing that most likely it won't happen the old fashion way. We can enjoy each other as well without any worries of whether or not I took my pill or do we have condoms or anything like that. And financially speaking except for getting our emergency fund going and stay going (i.e. no emergencies) we are set for a baby we dont have any house payments or car payments or anything like that.

Well I have pretty much caught up on here, so I will scoot for now to spend time with my honey as we celebrate tonight 8 months of marriage. Hard to believe that we are 2/3s of the way thru our first year of marriage.

SWW 06-1-11

So what...

• If I feel like taking a ball bat to the computer... more specifically to blogger who will not let me comment or follow or anything other than write blogs and read them
• If I want to be a foster parent so bad even now when we have one extra half functioning room and it is in desperate need of a paint job
• If it looks like it might be close to 6 months to get our air condtioner fixed (why does everything have to be so dog gone expensive)
• If I talk to my dog like I talk to a kid. Calling her by her first middle and last name and even asking her questions (what she responds)
• If I am extremely frustrated with everything breaking down in the house and the car over the past year arghhhhhh is all I can say
• If it frustrates me that everything in price is going up but we will not recieve an pay raises unless I get a job and than all that job will pay is gas to and from work and an aid to come help the hubs while I am gone at work
• If I make out a calendar to plan out all our meals (it helps with saving money and reduces impulse buying)

Memorial Day Weekend

The hubs and I spent our weekend busier than normal for us. I and our roommate and best friend threw my other best friends baby shower (so excited cant wait until the baby is here). That was a lot of work but well worth it. Plus I got to hold a baby in I dont know how long. Jeremy normally has fridays off anyways so he got a four day weekend which was nice. Sunday we had church and than we drove out to laurel hill for one more visit with my preggo best friend and her husband and her inlaws. We had steaks and garden squash and potato salad than back home. Monday we slept in a little bit. We were hoping to see the hubs uncle and that maybe he could fix our tankless water heater but they had to leave town a day earlier because he got sick. So hopefully next time. The rest of the day hubby spent working on updating and reinstalling e-sword onto our computers and server, while I just relaxed around the house caught up on some shows on the dvr. it was a relaxing weekend all around though.

SWW 05-25-11

So what if...

• I bought craft stuff for my nieces to have at my house but secretly is thrilled that I now have an excuse to color and make stuff (I find it relaxing)
• my new favorite website is crayola.com
• am excited that we have pretty much come to the decision that we will be adopting in 4 years and that we will be doing it debt free
• that it tickled me that my youngest niece is fiercely defensive of me and tells her sisters that I am her Aunt Katie and not theirs (which I had to tell her the other day that I was theirs as well and it nearly made her cry
• that finally after having a dog for 9 1/2 months that I am just now getting to enjoy her
• that I started this on Saturday (I had time then)
• that I highly upset that less than a week after we had our ac serviced it went out again (hoping it doesnt mean that we have to replace it we will just have to live without an ac in the main part of the house)
• if I sleep with the tv on but have to fall asleep with my netflixs playing on my phone with my ear plugs on
• that this is the first time I am sad about neighbors moving away from me

old Post from myspace!

Maybe...



"Maybe"

Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; and be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

SWW 05-18-11

• So what if I havent posted one of these since the middle to end of april
• or that it took my 7 months to get our closets organized and at got all of the hubbys clothes out of my closet
• or that for the first time in since we have been married I have consistently cooked dinners for the past like 2 weeks
• or that its taken me about 2 1/2 weeks to get this far along on our laundry (would help to clean our room and closets out sooner)
• that one of my favorite shows is Dr. Phil and tha fact that my hubby wrote him and we might get an email back even from the show just tickles me
• that i am going kicking and screaming on how to set up a website and edit it (trying to help the hubs out with our ministry website)
• that secretly I want to get my Mary Kay going to the point I am making what I made while working at Regions ( I mean come on what woman wouldnt love working selling make up and skin care that actually works)
• that I cried hard this morning when one of our baby kitten died (not sure what happened)

???

So I have another possibly gray area to bring up. (I like doing these gets you to really think). I have been watching Sister Wives on TLC. I know I know some would disapprove but anyways I am grown and its a clean show. First of lets just get this out of the way, I dont approve or agree of their lifestyle and how they choose to live. I dont think its right and they shouldnt be living this way. Okay now that that is over, What are everyones thoughts on the present investigation into their lives? I understand that it is illegal to practice polygamy in Utah and that by doing the show it would open up a huge can of worms. However I do not believe that they should be prosecuted for it. That their lifestyle is because of a religious belief and practice. This isnt something they are claiming to be just to get away with whatever they want, from all appearances (and I know appearances can be decieving) they truly believe this is the right way for them to live. All the wives are consenting adults when they were "married" there is no child abuse of any kind present (sexual, emotional, physical, physcological) that we can tell. They are not forcing their children into this lifestyle and marrying them underage and to older men that have several wives. All of his wives were from what I personally can remember them saying on the show raised this way and in this belief and many at least 3 of them had sister wife mothers if I remember correctly. I mean you can be gay, you can be straight and have several sexual partners and even have children with multiple people and stay that way and continue to see multiple people and not be prosecuted. I know that he is legally married and that take it to a different level, but what is the difference between that and an open marriage. If you agree to be in an open marriage where you see other people there may be at times for periods of time where one person is seeing someone else or sleeping around. Like I said I dont agree with what they are doing and how they are living their life but I also dont think that they should be prosecuted and sent to jail and the family all split up. I mean arent we in American trying to keep the family unit together and dont we (as in America we) teach tolerance to others such as bobby who has the two mommies or susie who has two daddies, or sally whose mommy sleeps around and has several sexual parteners, or johnny who has no daddy  or might have a daddy but no mommy and yet their parents are not proscuted for living a different lifestyle of their own choosing. Shouldnt their religious beliefs although not the norm be protected by our constitution. Isnt this considered where the government is stepping in and saying you can believe this this isnt a religious practice we approve of and for lack of a better term going against what our forefathers wanted with the seperation of church and state (i know thats not in the constitution or anything like that and that it was written in a private letter i know i know; like i said lack of a better term) Anyways would be curious to hear other peoples thoughts

Probably going to get shot or something....

I know that what I am about to write is very very controversial and will probably result in some not so nice feelings towards me but oh well this is my blog and for this blog I am putting into the age old rule that "if you cant say something nice, dont say something at all" I dont say this to be like I am right and you are wrong in the feelings because this kind of confusing even for me.

The death of Osama Bin Laden brings up for me many  mixed emotions. While I am relieved and excited and happy that he is no longer able himself to make plans and carry out terriost actions and that we can sleep a little more peacefully at night knowing he is gone; and yet at the same time my heart breaks to know he is spending all of eternity in hell and that someone that God loved so much that He sent His own son to die for him would reject him and would choose to not accept the gift and sacrifice that God made for him and to choose to spend eternity away from God breaks my heart and brings me almost to tears. I know that he is responsible for the deaths of countless and priceless men, women, and children and I know that he had to be brought to justice and even death I understand that and even the Bible talks about if you take a mans life so shall your life be taken and I agree that he should have been put to death, killed, assasinated, (however you would like to term it) but I also know that someone should have been able to share the gospel with him and give him the chance to accept Christ. Thats the God I serve that no matter what you have done where you have been or what you are doing He can and will forgive you and save you and then when you die you will go to heaven. That doesnt mean he didnt have to pay for what he did if he became a christian. Salvation is not a get out jail free card here on earth. You still have to pay for your actions that you choose to do and if its breaking the law murder terriost acts than there are dire consquences and can lead to their death as well. I am happy and excited and am so thankful that Osama is dead and that he has recieved his earthly justice but I do know that it breaks God heart that Osama choose not to follow him and to love him and serve him. My heart has been broken for this man's salvation since 9/11 again I am not saying he should not have been punished he definitely deserved to be punished and severely and with his life but to know that unless he cried out to God before he died that Osama is spending all of eternity in utter torment and pain and suffering. I know that I will most likely recieve a lot of flack for this and I expect it. I do also know that in God's eyes sin is sin, that murder is no more severe than lying and that stealing is the same as adultry. So if we would judge the world in Gods standards than those who do not accept the gift of salvation no matter how good of a person they are and that no matter that they never broke the law or did anything wrong in the the worlds eyes they are no different than Osama that the man who cheats on his taxes and steals money from the government and never repents and makes it right and rejects God is no different the Osama who killed countless lives.

Again I say that I AM GLAD THAT HE IS DEAD! But my heart is broken over the fact that he is eternally sepereated from God and will never know the saving knowledge of Jesus.