2011 in Review

I know everyone is writing a new years eve/new years blog and I am joining in. What a year this has been...

January- Was actually a pretty quiet month. We had a decent working van and stayed busy with church, and family, and friends. Jeremy had started working at the church twice a week.

February- I turned 25. Jeremy developed a hernia (which was completely healed by God with no need for surgery). Celebrated our second Valentines day and our first as a married couple. My baby niece turned 3 (seriously where does the time, things have changed so much in that time) Wrote my first blog about our baby journey, and realized 8 years had already passed since Mom has passed away.

March- Went to our church's womens conference where God challenged me to reach out to our neighbors more, talked about adoption. Bought a brand new couch and rearranged the living room. My baby sister turned 9 this year crazy I remember it like yesterday I was changing her diapers.

April- Another quiet month. Not a whole lot of excitement. My dad turned 51 this month.

May-  Osama Bin Laden was killed major major news! Threw my best friends baby shower. Was excited to see her. Our main a/c unit died. Formed our board for our ministry (Jesus Saves International Ministries) and had our first board meeting.

June-  Van broke down AGAIN!!!! Simple air sensor but so annoying. Applied for non-exempt status with the IRS for the ministry.

July- Plain old hot summer especially with no ac. Set a goal for the end of the year.

August- Jeremy became and ordained minister with Liberty Network. 2nd board meeting of the year.

September- Sprung a water leak in our pipe leading  to the house. Best friend had her adorable little boy on the first. Tropical Lee came thru and brought a couple of days of cooler weather (which I loved). Started Herbalife and lost 10 lbs the first week.

October-  Celebrated our 1 year anniversary. Continued Herbalife and lost 17 lbs. Drove to Ga to see my best friends Baby.

November- Adopted another little doggie (although it was short lived because I did not have the patience to deal with housebreaking all over again) Lost 10lbs. Celebrated Thanksgiving with my in-laws. Had family pictures taken. Created Christmas Cards. Decorated early for Christmas this year.

December- Lost 9 more lbs for a total of 46lbs since Sept. Celebrated Christmas early with my bro, sis-in-law, and nieces. Surprised my best friend for her birthday in Georgia. Celebrated Christmas with my in-laws including brother in law, his girlfriend and grandma in law. Got our approval for for non-profit tax exemption from the IRS. THANK YOU JESUS!!!! That was three and half years of hard work on my hubby's part. Celebrated New Years Eve with the love of my life on the couch watching the ball drop in New York.

Smelly!?

So I have discovered a horrible smell in my house today. Not sure what it is have checked all the trash and removed most of the garbage bags from the house (we have multiple trash cans in case you were thinking I had several bags laying around) so tomorrow I will be scrubbing floors with hot water and bleach and floor cleaner. Hopefully I can get rid of the stale smelly dirty diaper smell.

On other news, Saturday the hubs and I attempted to drive out to Robertsdale for my stepsister's graduation party and our van died about 5 minutes from my dads house. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! was all I can say about that. For any of you that can remember the craziness we had last year with our van dying all the time and noone (not even dodge(you would think that at least all of them of people would be able to figure out their own vehicle) it was not a good flash back. We managed to get it back to the house barely I mean like we pulled into the driveway and it died again. Not Cool. We get it towed over to our car shop that actually did figure out what the problem was last year and they called to tell me it was our air temp sensor that had come loose and also our throttle was very clogged and dirty. After getting that all cleaned out and plugging the sensor back in tightly they test drove it a couple of times with no problems. I picked up it up today and it ran so smooth and took off without any problems or any hesitations. YAY! Now hopefully this fix will last us at least 9 1/2 more months and than we can replace the vehicle completely.

We were also in the process of saving up to replace our ac unit that died on us right before our car died so needless to say its been a kinda stressful time lately. We are just dealing with the lack of air in the main part of our house by hanging in our bedroom and offices in the part of the house that has ac.


I guess this is all a sign that I need to really start and hit my Mary Kay business hard if I sold everything I had in stock we could replace our ac unit. Hmmm.... Now how to figure out how to get it sold anyone who is reading that would like to buy some I sell to anyone anywhere and would be happy to send you a catalogue. Just let me know.

Had my nieces over the other night and sometimes they make it so that we are glad that right now that we don't have any kids and the hubs view them at times as a great birth control. While I agree at times we still want children and wish at times we could just get preggo the old fashioned way. Especially now at times when everyone it seems is preggo around me, from family members to friends. While we are not doing anything to prevent babies right now and would be ecstatic to have 2 lines show up on a test it makes me relax to knowing that most likely it won't happen the old fashion way. We can enjoy each other as well without any worries of whether or not I took my pill or do we have condoms or anything like that. And financially speaking except for getting our emergency fund going and stay going (i.e. no emergencies) we are set for a baby we dont have any house payments or car payments or anything like that.

Well I have pretty much caught up on here, so I will scoot for now to spend time with my honey as we celebrate tonight 8 months of marriage. Hard to believe that we are 2/3s of the way thru our first year of marriage.

Blahhh!

I have felt kinda blah the past week and a half. I am glad that I have my blog where I can be real and if you dont like it dont read it. Here I can express things that I need to get off my chest. The past few weeks it is really hitting me hard that I am not pregnant yet. I know its only been about 5 1/2 months since we got married but we basically have been trying since day 1. We already knew that it would be almost impossible to get pregnant by ourselfs but we serve a big God and having a baby isnt a big thing for God. He can do anything He can give my husband and I baby right now or He could have given us one right after we got married. I cant even tell you how many pregnancy tests I have taken in 5 months and I know it should be what like 5 one fore each month.... but I have always heard you want to take two at a time to be sure and usually its two different brands. Of course taking two a couple of different times a month because I would convince myself its just been too soon to tell so I would take them a little closer or after I should have had a period and every time they came out negative or AF came to visit it would just break my heart. It scares me at times because there are two things I have wanted in life since as far back I can remember and that was to be married (and I am married to my absolute best friend in the world) and to be a mommy. Of course my plans have would have been to meet Jeremy when I was 17 or 18 get married right away after highschool and to have babies right away but God had other things for us to do before we got married and I wouldnt trade it for anything in the world (by the way I know my grammar is impeccable to be desired but dont judge me today). I know I know people are probably like well you knew going in that you would have a hard time getting pregnant if you could naturally but we just really believe that God will heal him (my hubby) and give us the baby(ies) we desire to have. We have the names picked out even have a few little onsies. It woudl also thrill my in laws as of right now we are their hope of having grandbabies and they my mil is so ready to have grandbabies and to be honest my parents (especially my dad) would be thrilled with a little grandson. Regardless they will be happy whether its a boy or a girl. I just cant wait until its my turn and I get to announce that I am expecting and we are going to have a baby. While I have some feeligns on when it really is in Gods hands and while that should give me peace I wish it could just be the old fashioned way, because lets face it it is really cool thinking that out of the most intimate gift God can give two people comes the miracle of life and yet that has been robbed from my husband and I. While Jeremy has had more time to deal with the reality of the possiblity of never being able to have a child biological I havent had as much time, now dont get me wrong this is in no way a deal breaker for us. I knew full well that we would probably never have children naturally well before we got married in fact it was before we even began dating he felt that he needed to be open with me about it. I know we serve a big God and He alone can heal what is broken to create our little babies between the two of us and if we needto have our babies thru adoption our hearts are more than open to that. Although I struggle sometimes with while it is definitely something I have always thought about it makes me sometimes second guess if that is my hagar and ishmel. I dont want to try and help God out. I know that God will help us decide the right time to pursue fertility specialist and or adoption at the right time.

Taking a step out into the open...

I am about to write one of the most revealing open book blog I have ever wrote. Not very many people know about the situation I am about to write. I feel vunerable and exposed writing this but I believe hopefully this will reach someone else facing this same issue now or in the future. Anybody who knows myself or my husband knows that we both love children and want babies of our own. We have even picked out baby names one for a little boy named after his grandpas and his daddy and 2 little girls one after my mom and one that I came across one day while still working at the bank. We are eager to add children to our family as we are financial farther ahead than most newlyweds our age or even some not so newlyweds. We own our home with 3 extra bedrooms right now that are ready for a baby. BUT... we were told that we would not be able to have children. We have looked into adoption but the cost is almost a years worth of income and would mean that it would be 5 or 6 years before we could even look at the possibility of adopting a child and we know that we will also face a little more of a challenge as some adoption agencies require life insurance and both of us because of family medical history raises our life insurance rates sky high and also because of jeremys cerebal palsy he also has a hard time getting life insurance. We also know that we serve a HUGE GOD one that is bigger than our problems or impossibilities HE is a GOD of POSSIBILITIES. So we are trusting that God can overcome any and all of our impossibilites and that we can have our own biological child but we also know that if God chooses us to adopt our children we are open to that we just will have to be patient in waiting for the money as we want to do this debt free and we are hoping to be debt free by the end of the year. We also know that we need a better running vehicle before we have children and we also need as stated in the previous post to get ourselves in better shape for children. We are also believing for a complete healing for Jeremy from all of his cerebal palsy before we have children while we would be thrilled to find out today that we are pregnant but God is in control and we know what we will follow God's plan for our life for everything that God has for us like children and where we will live and work in ministry.