Daisypath Anniversary tickers
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Soap Box
Okay so there is something that bugs me so much and it came up around this past valentines day. (and no my honey didnt do anything wrong) I don't get these promise rings that boyfriends give girlfriends and vice versa. Growing up when a guy gave a girl a ring and a promis to get married it meant they were engaged and planning their lives together. It seems to me that if a guy gave me a "promise ring" and was like one day we will get married but was very clear that we werent engaged would be like a slap in my face as a pretend, practice committment. Come on guys if you really want to make that committment buy the ring and ask the question. Dont get a piddle ring and be like well we cant really afford to get married or in the future i will ask you to get married. Either make the commitment or dont make it. I cant blame you if you arent ready you arent ready and thats okay. Marriage is a big committment and shouldnt be entered into lightly so take your time and dont even make that type of committment lightly which is what I think of promise rings is a way to pacify your significant other. Step up to the plate and make a real committment or dont but dont play around with this. If my husband had given me a ring and said one day I promise you I will propose or one day years down the road we will get married I would have been hurt that he is leading me on and playing with my emotions. Either you want to or you dont or your sure or your not. If you dont or your not sure DONT DO IT. It makes it that much harder if for whatever reason the relationship didnt work out. Even if you cant afford to get married right now you can still ask the question and make the plans. A wedding doesnt have to be a big extravagant affair. Right before I got married my dad gave me the best advice about the wedding (this was about one week before the wedding) dont worry about the small stuff dont worry about anyone else you have a pastor you have a dress and jeremy has a tux you got it handled. When it all boils down a wedding is about you and your loved one and the committment and covenant vow you make between you guys and God. okay okay enough for now all though it does really irk me when i see this in relationships because it is just excuse to not having to make a serious committment and be a man/responsible adult...okay okay really I am done now.
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I have to agree with you. I also have to admit that I had one of those stupid rings back before you and your husband were even born. It apparently was the "gift to give your girlfriend" for Christmas 1982 because about 6 of us got them. If you want my honest opinion of what they are it's "I gave you a ring now you can have sex with me." That's JMO, though. Didn't work for him. LOL I later did get an engagement ring from him but.....he is not my husband. As my father said, I got a sudden surge of good taste and showed him the door. Met my husband 4 years later in 1987, married in 1989 and here we are almost 22 years later. Yes, I'm old enough to be your guys' parents even though my son is only 11. *grin*
ReplyDeletei have to say wilma i had the i promise we will get married one day speech no ring and it wouldnt have done him any good to get me the ring as it would have confused me even more. God knew what He was doing when promiser dumped me and left me heartbroken with a promise still that we might get married. Glad he's gone and my hubby is here. I cant wait until me and jeremy are married 22 years it will be here before we know it. cant believe its been almost 5 months already.
ReplyDeleteGirl, it will be here tomorrow. I was just married last month and my baby was born last week. *grin* It flies by that quickly. You will turn around and one day you'll look at each other and ask where all the time went. It's scary in a way.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the "I promise we'll get married" speech, with or without a ring, it's best we let them go. They weren't the right ones because they weren't being truthful with us. At least in my case he didn't really want me. He just wanted to have somebody to say he had somebody (if that makes sense) and he treated me like dirt in the meantime. His wife can have him. I hope he's treated her better over the years than he did me. This is how much of a jerk he was--he called me on the phone AFTER he was married and AFTER his first child was born and I was engaged to John and told me he would still get me in bed with him someday. Then about 4 years ago he somehow found my number and called me at my house. My husband saw my face when I answered and asked who it was. I told him and he took the phone and told him if he ever tries to contact me again that he will press charges against him. I definitely chose the better man. :)