Today is a special day for me today 2 years ago my wonderful, amazing, God sent boyfriend became my wonderful, amazing, God sent fiance. I know I know you probably are tired of hearing about all your friends love stories and the amazing men God puts in their lives... but please keep reading. I was there with you didn't want to hear any more stories about people finding the one that they had waited for the one they loved all my friends were pretty much all married off or in serious relationships just a few years ago and I had had my heart broken by the person I thought was the one and I was waiting around for God to strike him with lightening and knock some sense into him. Thank God that He didn't do that because I know now he wasn't the right one and waiting for the one that God did send was well worth the frustration, pain, and doubt I had.
I made a decision early in my teens to surrender my love life to God and to wait on His timing and trust my parents with their advice on the one I would marry. It wasn't easy and I made mistakes along the way and did things that I am not proud of. Like there was the blind date that went horribly wrong and I knew from the beginning he wasn't the right one. (I had lots of information about him before hand that I knew he wasn't the right one) Then there was the guy I knew from being a kid that tried to cross many lines and boundaries and I almost let him do it. Than there was my first serious boyfriend. I had known him since I was 12 years old and seriously thought even thru the other 2 guys that he really was the one. (lots of little things I had convince myself of). I had even just mere months before he asked me out and we began dating prayed that if he wasn't the one that God would keep this guys mouth shut and never ask me about taking a step forward. It was a crazy emotional 8 months that we dated and it was up and down roller coaster. I thought that's what love was and thought that I deeply loved him, but I lost who I was in that relationship and became more focused on him instead of God and so when we ended our relationship I was lost and it took me a long time to find myself and reestablish myself in God. It also took me time to learn and feel God's amazing grace as in that relationship we did cross lines and we ended up sleeping together and even several pregnancy scares did not stop us it was the power of God that did keep us from getting pregnant as He knew the plans He had for us. A little over a year later I got onto e-harmony just to see what was out there. I didn't have any plans on getting serious with anyone right then but I guess it was my fleece out there for God to use and He did. I started talking to this guy and would get annoyed because He would always wait until the free communication weekends were over (I was to cheap to to pay for a membership) to reply back and than I had to wait so what would have taken a few weeks took 3 1/2 months and than I decided that I could cash in on this deal that was like 20 dollars for 3 months and Things took off from there as I could communicate as much as I wanted with this guy. We meet for the first time on Dec. 15 2009 and it took off from there I had a lot of hesitation and wasn't sure after being so hurt before in a relationship I didn't want to get hurt again so... It took me about a month for me to actually listen to God and start dating him and than about a month later I was ready for J to propose so 3 month after beginning to date we were engaged. I know that seems really fast but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was the one. One of the major things was that I didn't have to give up anything that I had prayed for in a husband and that I didn't have to change who I was to make him happy. The core of me could stay the same. I have done some changing for my hubby but its been little things like making sure I put extra effort into keeping the house picked up more than I ever did when I lived by myself and making sure little things that aren't important to me are done for him in a timely manner that I wouldn't do for long periods of time for myself.
Ladies let me encourage you to wait and hold out for the one that God has for you. When you take it into your own hands it gets messy like it did for me. I tried to convince myself that I could be happy with the one I wanted not the one that God wanted for me. I know ladies who didn't wait or didn't listen to God about the one to marry and they are either miserably married or unhappily together with someone or so far away from the plan that God had for them. I am not saying that God cannot take the mistakes of our past and use them for His good, I know He can and He has in my life, I just know that it is so much easier to wait on His timing instead of rushing our agenda and if you become patient and learn to seek His heart and face than you can one day look back on the goodness of God in your love life. I know that I am tremendously blessed because I didn't marry the one I wanted to marry. Example the last I heard about the one I wanted to marry he was living with his parents still (and he is older than me, I am 26 by the way) while I am married to truly the man of my dreams and the man of my blessing and living in a house completely paid for just a couple of weeks away from being completely debt free able to be a stay at home wife and serve with my honey in full time ministry with no outside job distracting us. Wow how amazing!!! (I am not saying that if the guy God gives you doesn't own his own house its wrong, I am just showing the difference in my plan and God's plan and how much better God's plan was for me than my plan)
I also encourage you to embrace the single season in your life because once you get married it all changes and sometimes even now it would be nice to go out with girlfriends and stay out late but I know that my present is truly that a gift from God and I am glad for my single season and even happier for my married season. Enjoy it go out with your girlfriends live slightly more carefree because you do gain more responsibility as a wife and eventually a mother. I know too many women who wish away their single life only to live with such regret when they get married that it ruins their marriage. Please don't be that way embrace it and enjoy what time God gives you as a single woman because it becomes part of the most amazing story and that is the story of You!
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