Home sale!

I realized I had several blogs half written so now I am updating them real quick while I have a chance. A lot has changed.

We are now 3 months into the house selling gig and one thing that I am pretty confident on is that We are never ever doing this again. Selling is not for the faint of heart. You have to be tough of nails and expect to spend tons of money just to make other people happy. Or at least that is our experience. Our house is 30+ years old not very old but just the same, things shift and change over 30 years. We have poured tens of thousands of dollars into the house just to keep it functional and have not had any time to update anything. So yes our house needs updating. The kitchen and 2 of the bathrooms are original to the house from 30 years ago and lets just say lots of things have changed in 30 years especially when it comes to house design. However our home is functional and all the appliances work.

We took our house off the market for a month and we painted and rearranged and emptied out about 2 1/2 rooms and the very first showing we had they put in an offer and we accepted and went into contract. Again I reitterate that selling a home is not for the faint of heart or for someone with no patience. I have definitely had a lesson in patience the past couple of months.

Now it is June and we close on our house in 3 weeks. Yes 3 weeks. Its crazy times around here getting everything packed and straightened up. We have our WDO inspection today and than the buyers have to schedule their survey and than its waiting for closing day to come. We are using a 1-800 packrat moving container and they are delivering it June 20th and picking it back up June 23rd. Jeremy has a friend that is driving with him up to Iowa and they are leaving with Molly on the 22nd and than I fly out the 24rth. I have to be there to sign for when they pick up the moving container and I don't want to try and cordinate a pickup and a flight the same day as I have time restraints when I get to Iowa due to when my grandma can pick me up so I am flying the 24rth. Once we get up there we will unload the container into our storage unit and then it will be the fun part of house hunting and spending time going to auctions, yard sales, plugging into the community, they have music in the square which will be fun to go do. We will get to Iowa in time for 4rth of July picnics and fire works. We are excited to move on with this chapter in our life and yet at the same time sad as we move away from family and friends and knowing that we will miss them.

Now off to go pack...

AN Update on whats going on

The easiest way to do this is to just copy our newsletter that our ministry just sent out to let everyone know whats been going on and everything that is changing.



Greetings In the Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ,

I (Katie) am writing you today to let you know about some exciting changes happening in Pastor Jeremy and I’s life as well as changes to Jesus Saves International Ministries. We are very excited about the changes coming in the next few months and years.
Personally, Pastor Jeremy and I (Katie) are excited to announce we are moving to Iowa. This was a long thought out process. The idea of moving to Iowa was put on our hearts 3 years ago when we went to visit right before we were married in the fall of 2010. We have patiently waited for doors to open if this was the right decision. Fast forward to June of 2013 and the biggest obstacle standing in our way was removed in such a way that only God could have done it. We are excited to step into this new chapter in our lives and everything that God has for us.
Changes for Jesus Saves are amazing and scary and faith filled all at the same time. The first change is we brought Pastor Juan onto our board of Directors as our Chief Financial Officer. We also are able to hire Pastor Juan as an office assistant. Pastor Juan served as assistant youth pastor at Harvest Christian Center until 2014. He also has several years of ministry experience. Angela will be stepping down from our board after 2 years of faithful service.  The biggest change goes hand in hand with us moving to Iowa. Pastor Jeremy and I have been praying about how God would use us in Iowa and the new community we will be in. That’s when God began to lay a vision on our heart for the community and how we can reach out and minister in a very real and tangible way.
The vision God has laid on both of our hearts is to open up a community center. We are looking at a building that is currently empty and has been empty for a couple of years. It is a 10,000+ sq ft building with a gymnasium, commercial kitchen, showers, and several classrooms. It is currently zoned as residential which would allow for “civic” activities. We are currently in contact with a local building official who is helping us figure out what we are allowed to do without having to change the zoning and would allow us to live on the campus. The reasoning for us living on campus is two-fold and that is one to be able to watch over the building and two; security. Also depending on how we purchase the building one option is to use the money from the sale of our house to buy the building which is why we would also live on campus. The second option would be to try and get a grant to purchase the building. Right now we are looking into grants. I have been talking to a friend who wrote grants as a job and they were honest and let us know that it is almost impossible to find grants large enough to purchase the building. We also would like to get a grant that would help with payroll and expenses for the first year or at least until we can gain some income from the community building. The payroll grant would go to Pastor Juan as he is prayerfully considering joining us in Iowa and partnering with us in running the community center. He would also live on campus as the 24 hr maintenance man.
Two things you can do for us right now; Number 1 pray, pray, pray, it’s the most important thing; Number 2 is donate money. We hate always asking for money but unfortunately ministry takes money and God has given us big dreams and visions. We know God can provide for what He calls us to do and we know that ultimately He is who will sustain us. I know God never gives vision without provision. Thank you so much for your prayers we covet them daily. Thank you for your support; your funds go to support sending out our daily devotions right now and also sending out salvation packets via mail or email. We truly couldn’t do it without you. You are our biggest partners.
As always please feel free to email anyone of us with any questions.
Pastor Jeremy: jlempie@jesussavestoday.com
Katie Empie: kempie@jesussavestoday.com
Pastor Juan: jlagrandeur@jesussavestoday.com

Until All Hear His Name,

Pastor Jeremy & Katie
Pastor Juan

...

Not even sure how to label this blog or if for sure I will share it or if I do share it allow comments. So much going through my mind lately. I feel overwhelmed, under appreciated, and stressed out. So in the past two months we have had some pretty severe freezing weather, especially for us Floridians. I am talking like the high getting into the 20's and 30's with nights dropping into the teens. Of course this means high power bills and freezing pipes. Oh this year both times we have had the freezing weather we have had pipes freeze and bust on us to the sum of close to $400. Of course insurance or home warranty doesn't cover any of this expense and we are trying to get our emergency fund fully funded once again but with all of this coming up its been a little hard. Not to mention that this afternoon a wire broke on my husbands powerchair not only is this wire vital for the chair to even work its cost $300 to replace. So in the past month we have had about $700 dollars of unexpected expense come up we also have 2 yearly bills come due in February our termite protection and car tag renewal so there was also another $350 roughly that comes out in Jan-Feb budget. We are also in the process of selling our house and it seems like we cant please any buyers and now it looks like there will have to be some painting done some work done that isn't necessary in the sense that its not any repairs but just so people can see that concept that the house once had a second kitchen located on the opposite side of the house. Hindsight being 20/20 we should have never converted the second kitchen that was being used into a studio to record devotions for radio stations, however we didn't know we would be moving so soon after doing this.

Something I never really talk about is all the extra work that goes into taking care of Jeremy, now don't get me wrong I don't ever regret my decision to marry him or any of the stuff that I have to do for him, but there are days that would be nice to be able to afford a caretaker just for a few hours. However insurance doesn't cover home health care and for us to be able to afford it right now would mean I have to go find a job and than the only thing my job would pay for is the home health care that we wouldn't need if I wasn't working. Its a vicious cycle. Our hope is that in Iowa we will be able to afford it with everything else that is going down, like car insurance, home owners insurance, power, groceries, health insurance, gas. It's amazing the differences. Also I would be able to run a daycare out of our house if I chose too and be my own boss and set my hours as such. When I lived there last time there was a lot of help financially for those who ran their own daycare out of their house so it would be interesting to see if that help is still available. Sometimes there are days I wonder how much more can I take and really unless you have walked in my shoes no comments are needed. I never talk about this because no one around here understands our situation and honestly I pray you never have to be in our situation where you become the primary caregiver to your spouse. While marriage is hard in general being in an interdependent marriage is not for the weak of heart. I have found a couple of blogs that have definitely helped a lot. One I recently stumbled on has been so encouraging. No matter how many blogs I found and no matter how much I read ultimately every situation is different and only you can take what will work for you. One thing for us is that late nights and late mornings work a lot better for us. I don't try to plan anything for us to be anywhere before 10. Even if we have to be somewhere at 10 it means getting up around 730 to get myself dressed and showered and than getting Jeremy up dressed feed and coffee and everything he might need and than its time to walk out the door. It also can limit our ability to do things last minute as it takes more for us to just drop and go especially right now without a wheelchair vehicle which will be remedied next year. Its a crazy schedule and not many people don't understand it. It's okay to for people not to understand but its hard to hear well meaning questions like well what do you do? I do a lot up until recently I was full time caretaker for Jeremy, full time babysitter for my 3 nieces, trying to run a house, run an office (my official title with our ministry is office manager), be a wife, volunteer at church and keep it all together. Doesn't leave a whole lot for myself. As a woman and someone who has a care giver attitude its hard to make sure I am taken care of. Theres a lot that goes into that. It usually means making sure we have someone lined up to feed Jeremy if necessary depending on what I am doing or making sure I am done by a certain if Jeremy has somewhere to go as he can't take himself. I know there are a lot of things that frustrate Jeremy as well and I don't discredit them and I don't say this to get sympathy and honestly I don't want but I am also not saying this to get tips or criticism I don't want those either. I know that God has put Jeremy and I together there is no doubt in my mind and dreams I never thought would happen are happening and they are happening all in God's timing with Jeremy. I know this is a lot of rambling and probably not a lot put together and all but this has been a lot of the thoughts going through my mind lately and they are exhausting. I am just praying to make it through this season and I am ready for the next season.

I end this blog by saying so much has changed over the past year and it has been hard and rough but I am excited about whats just around the corner for us. We know God has huge plans for us and we are excited to see how it is all going to work out.

Christmas Recap...

As far back as I can remember I have always loved Christmas. Growing up we always decorated the day after Thanksgiving since I have been married I have decorated starting the first of November. This year however I have not been in the mood to decorate or to do a lot. It took me until the 23rd to even finish all my Christmas shopping and I still felt like I was forgetting people. I am actually kinda of looking forward to even taking the decorations down. I really explain it. Maybe its because I have been doing so much work to get things packed up and put away so we can show the house and get it sold that pulling out more stuff didn't really make any sense. However we did have a wonderful Christmas. We spent Christmas morning with Jeremy's parents and ate lunch with them. We were able to skype with Jeremy's brother in Oregon before we headed out to my parents house for Christmas with my aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces and sister in law. My older brother wasnt able to make it home this christmas from starting his new job as a truck driver. My in-laws on top of helping us pack a lot of our stuff, cleaned our roof, and power washed our drive way they also paid for a two night getaway at a hotel or condo of our choice. Jeremy and I took advantage of that and we spent two nights at the Hilton Garden Inn and we were able to have a nice quiet couple of days. We were able to catch up on Scandal. It was nice and quiet. I know the days are coming to close much to soon where we will have a house full of kids for now but sometimes its nice to get away. We got back today and I think I am coming down with a cold not fun. I feel tired and have a scratchy sore throat. I am hoping I can go to church in the morning seems like forever since I have been in church. 

CH..CH..CH..Changes

So I got on here and realized I haven't blogged since February. My bad! I wish I could say it was because I was so busy traveling the world or going to school or changing the world in what people would consider big ways. However in my last blog it seems like so much has happened and changed. In June my brother and sister in law and 3 nieces moved in while they were looking for a new place to live. It's been an experience of having a full house after it being just Jeremy and I for a few months. It's had a lot of ups and a couple of downs. Good prep for when we have kids. I don't think I have ever looked forward so much to school starting than I did this year. I even enjoyed school as a kid but never wanted it to come as bad as this year. The girls are doing great in school. This year was Maddie's first year in school can't believe she is old enough to go to school she did good in pre k however this year was more of a big deal as it was kindergarten. (not to discredit pre k teachers and what they do)

Jeremy and I took a very much needed trip this fall to see my family in Iowa. We had been there 3 years ago for a family reunion and a wedding shower for us. However it had been over a year since we had a vacation. This was also the first time we had been anywhere that it was only Jeremy and I traveling together. We stayed with family in Iowa and enjoyed an mostly unplugged couple of weeks. We were blessed to be able to go back 3 weeks later for our anniversary. It was another relaxing mostly unplugged almost 2 more weeks. While there God really confirmed a lot to Jeremy and I. A huge door was opened earlier this year for a dream God had given both of us 3 years ago. God has continued to confirm to us that this is the right direction of for us to... move to Iowa. We are very excited about the change that is happening and we are excited for the new season and chapter in our lives. We are not sure when we will be moving as we will have to sell our current house before we move. We have contacted a real estate agent and just got all the paperwork to sign to set up a listing. We are just waiting on a repair estimate/completion before we list.

So even though I haven't posted this I have some updated information. Our relator has come by and we have decided on selling our house as is and keeping an acre for future plans or purposes. We are excited for this next chapter in our lives. Over the next few weeks and months as you think of us please say a prayer as moving can be stressful but when one of you is limited in what you can do it is even more stressful.

A break

Finally after so much busyness in our life, I am getting a ten day break from most of the work in my life. I know I know a stay at home wife and no children. What in the world do I do. Well a lot really, I work with my husband in our non-profit, my husband has cerebral palsy and that requires a lot of extra work, keeping up with our house, babysitting 4 days a week, church, working out 3-4 days a week all adds up to busy busy busy. You know you are busy when you and your husband and I finally get to sit down at the kitchen table and he looks at you and goes I miss you. I mean its not like I have been out of town and its been days since we have seen each other I have been home every night but we haven't had any time with each other. I found out today that as of Tuesday I will have ten days off from my babysitting 3 days a week. I will only have my one day a week babysitting. So my plan is to run away from home that's right take my honey and run away from home. Actually we are going to try and get away for a few days at a hotel here in town just to leave all responsibilities at home and get out of our everyday environment, oh and also to try and make a baby. Yes that's right we are definitely trying to have a baby this year. I think that getting away will help not to have the stress of day to day life for a few days. Now to pray that my bestie doesn't go into labor during the few days we are away.

2013

Zumba last night and gym time today with my bubby. This year is the year of change and health and moving forward and not staying where I have always been. 2012 was all the preparation for the battle and victory this year!


This was my facebook status for January 9. Zumba and gym time things some might consider mundane however its the last part that I want to focus on today. I believe that 2012 was a year of preparation and battle. For me personally it was preparing and starting the battle of overcoming being unhealthy and overweight. I thought I had started it in 2011 but that was all on my own strength. I know it was in my own strength because I gave up. In the beginning of 2012 God moved my husband and I to a new church. Almost a year now has passed since then and everyday we sit amazed at how God placed us in a church that has provided healing for hurt and hope for dreams. We have both grown so much in the past few months. One thing I really wanted was someone who would lovingly hold me accountable to losing weight and someone who knew how to make "regular" food just healthy and not having to buy "diet" food. I also needed but didn't know it was someone who could bring the spiritual to table. I had to learn that in my own strength I would fail and fail, again and again. I found that someone in our pastor's wife who has lost over 100 lbs and kept it off for over 3 years off. 

I never thought that the day would come that I would look forward to going to the gym or zumba or working out in general. I look forward to it now and miss the days I don't get to do it. Its been a slow and uphill battle yet I am not stopping no matter what. My goal for this year would be to lose at least 50lbs. I am learning everyday to relay on God for the strength to continue this journey and to finally know that I will obtain victory in weight loss and health.  I am going to start keeping up my other blog www.findingmylifewhilelosingmyself.blogspot.com

30 by 30

So next month I turn 27. I can't believe it 27. It is way closer to 30 than I would like it to be. I mean it's scary how fast my life has flown by; it seems like just last week my parents dropped me off for my first day of kindergarten and yesterday I graduated high school. Reality is its been 9 years since I finished high school and 22 years since I was dropped off for my first day of kindergarten. Its been 3 years since my love and I went on our first date and tomorrow will be 3 years since we became each others boyfriend/girlfriend. In the past 3 years I have grown and changed and matured and learned so much. I am hoping though that the next 3 years and my 30's are much more relaxed than my early 20's have been. I ready for things to settle down a little. Well as I creep ever so much more closer to 30 way faster than I would like. I decided to make a list of resolutions, I guess for lack of a better word, that I would like to accomplish before I am 30. Some of them are easy and can be accomplished quite quickly and easily some might take the next 3 years to accomplish and some are completely in the control of God. But here are my 30 goals for the next 3 years (I might add some more as I check them off.)

• Read the Bible at least 10 times
• Take a cruise with my husband
• Have a baby
• Reach my goal weight
• Possibly have/adopt second baby
• Get my associates degree
• Become a notary
• Become debt free
• Get one years worth of income into savings
• Go cross country
• Start my bachelors degree
• Learn to play the piano
• Run a 5k
• Have the ministry completely self sufficient
• Take cooking classes
• Learn another language
• Have dream house plans picked out
• Purchase brand new never been driven vehicle
• Run/walk a 10k
• Read 100 Books (got any suggestions)
• Do a public speaking engagement
• Purchase a Mac laptop
• See my husband healed
• Finish decorating all the rooms in my house
• Go to New York
• Go camping in a RV
• Upgrade wedding band for both of us
• Do not go into debt
• Purchase an income property
• Buy brand new pots and pans

Growing Pains Part 2

Yesterday I reached out to the person God has been speaking quite clearly and quite loudly about for sometime to forgive. I sent a text to them to open the door to see if they would even listen to what I had to say and the door is opened. We will be talking more next week as they are on their honeymoon. (I didn't know for sure that they were still on it). I never thought I would talk to this person again and my flesh was quite alright with that. Well after doing that and things going way smoother than I ever thought it would; I had the worst night of sleep I have had in years. I tossed and turned and woke up ever couple of hours and than early this morning I had a dream almost more like a nightmare. I know it was not a Godly dream it was one sent to discourage me from continuing on to do what God has told me to do. Yet even as my alarm went off this morning the song "Forgiveness" by Matthew West was playing and than right after the song went off k-love played a part of an interview with Brandon Heath that talked about dealing with the poison of bitterness in your life. Wow! God came right in after the dream and confirmed twice that I am doing the right thing and going the right way. I should also say that last night when I was getting ready for bed I had The Spirit channel on our tv which plays all christian music and it had a song on about forgiveness that I have never even heard of before. So while my flesh still screams no don't do this my spirit is screaming louder than ever before to break free. Even after reaching out in a text message I feel so much lighter and so much more free and so much more peaceful and I can't imagine how much more that will go up once I actually talk to this person and finish what God has called me to do.

Growing Pains

This year has been a year of growth and change for me personally and spiritually. God has really been working a lot in me and bringing to life things that I had let die and had given up on months and years ago. Just like in the physical as you get older and grow it can be exciting but than the growing pains come and its not so fun or the responsibilities you once longed for you no longer enjoy. Right now I am in the painful part the part that I no longer long for or enjoy. God has really been dealing with the past with me and forgiveness that I need to give and anger I need to get over and hurt that I have held onto that has turned into bitterness. I know what to do but its scary out there in the "real" world. In the world where I don't have the bitterness and anger and hurt anymore. Where I don't have control of that area of my life where God is in control. I know it should be an easy choice get rid of all that is holding me back but I have been holding onto to this for years and it has grown a strong root in my heart. I have slowly been chopping away and I know freedom is coming I can sense it in my spirit but it stills scares me. I know I will have more joy and more peace yet I want to hold onto the pain and bitterness and anger because its what I know. I need to have a conversation with a certain person and I have rehearsed it over and over again and every time I rehearse it I get to a part that says I don't know where this leads to or if there is to be complete restoration. Its the unknown I fear. I have had so many situations and decisions in my life that were completely out of my control and I faced so much unknown that I am weary from the very idea of facing it once again. Every time I say Okay God I give in I will do it and than I don't or say yes I forgive that person and than bring it back and don't God brings up the topic of forgiveness again. This all started about 6 months ago when someone at church gave a casual testimony about how God had to work forgiveness in her and the day after she forgave that person died. God really started dealing with me then as you don't know how long you have left or that person has left and why would you want to go to grave with that bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart. Our pastor has been preaching through the book of Genesis this year and so many times forgiveness and restoration has been brought up. There have been songs and books and through out my Bible reading this year this has been theme of it even though I have read the Bible before and heard all the stories before God is showing me that forgiveness is key to everything to freedom to peace to relationship with God.

Mind your business

I love people I really do, but I am so tired of people trying to tell J and what to do and than if we don't do it when or how they want us to do it make a decision and act on it. Instead of respecting the decisions we make. J and I made a decision this year not to purchase another wheelchair accessible vehicle due to the fact that at the time we were looking for a new  wheelchairs vehicles that were in our budget of 23,000 dollars were at least 10 years old or/and had several thousands of miles on them. We weren't willing to take the chance of purchases a vehicle that old or with that many miles on it. We also were having to jump hoops in order to purchase a new wheelchair for J the insurance company was being a pain in the butt about it but it was doable just taking time to get everything done and everything turned in and all the information from the insurance company. Thankfully though now next time it will be handle before we even submit it the wheelchair company and the insurance company. Someone purchased us a new power wheelchair and Wow what an amazing gift. With the price tag of those running upwards of 30-40,000 dollars it was way amazing. However they didn't ask what would work for our current situation. We are limited to the weight of the chair to 250 lbs and the one that was purchased was over 300 lbs and a higher more expensive model again wonderful thing if we had a wheelchair accessible vehicle because the weight wouldn't be an issue. However with just a wheelchair lift on the back of the car we have we have to stay under 350 lbs total weight including the weight of the lift which I should mention is 70 lbs so we can have a chair that weighs at most 290 lbs. So while J has a new chair he can't take it anywhere unlike his other one that was able to be loaded on the back the car. We would use the other chair except that we kept getting pressure from the people who purchased the wheelchair to get it up and running because it did need some repairs that we were going to be responsible for and so we pushed forward towards doing that and that meant switching out some parts from the old one to the new one. Therefore we only have one working chair which can't be loaded onto our vehicle and used and now those same people are starting to put pressure on us now to purchase a used wheelchair van because it would make life so much easier on J and on I. It's frustrating because we do really care about these people and they have helped in the past but for the most part J and I's decisions affect us mainly. It's not like they are involved in our day to day life and its J and I who are affected the most by our decisions. I had a lot of anxiety about driving anything period after a year and half of almost constant breakdowns and several thousands of dollars in repairs and never knowing if you would make it back home that it has taken me 7 months to get over the worst of it I think. I still just prefer being at home and not going anywhere because than at least the car can't break down on me at home. My anxiety would get to me so bad I would make up any excuse to not go somewhere. I am finally a lot better but the very thought right now of driving another used wheelchair van just stresses me out to the point that I break down in tears sobbing because I can't even handle the thought of it. I know there would be a lot of things that would be a lot easier for us and possible for other people but it just is not feasible at this point to go into debt for it. For me the pressure makes me feel like a failure as a wife that I am not doing a good job of taking care of J. I know that since he was 5 he has had a power chair wherever he went and a wheelchair vehicle but a lot has changed since then and J made a lot of financial mistakes when he turned 18 and threw away a lot of money and lost a lot of money in investments that went bad and so there isn't a secret savings account with thousands and thousands of dollars that we just don't want to spend. I know we make a decent amount of money but we do have certain bills that no one else has and it gets tight a lot of times with a once a month paycheck. This might not really all make a lot of sense but I just needed to vent and I really wish people would start respecting the decisions we make as a couple we are little kids that need the help all the time. I just wish the unsolicited help and advice would stop. I also wish the false accusations of mismanagement of our money would stop and that people would also stop assuming that we are rich. We are actually in the middle class we aren't poor but we aren't rich and yes our finances are different than others and yes I am so thankful but when your income amount doesn't change and there are no raises or cost of living increases. So as prices go up our money doesn't stretch as far as it use to. Even now things are tight but doable. We are slowly working our way back out of the little bit of debt we have. We should have our washer and dryer paid off in January and than our credit card hopefully will be paid off by December 13 at the absolute latest. Than we can focus on building up our savings and doing it quickly. At least until than we will have the credit card as emergency funds although I know that's not the wisest thing to do, but it's what we will have to do for now.Anyways well I better stop ranting and venting on here and get to work today.

2 years!

Two years ago I was getting ready to walk down the aisle and say I do. It was a wonderful! I wasn't nervous or stressed. I knew I was making the right choice and I had no reason to be nervous or stressed. I can't believe it'e been 2 years it doesn't seem like it and yet we seem to have gone thru a lifetime of ups and downs. I wouldn't have my life any other way. God knew what we needed though the first year and half our marriage to focus on each other because we tried very hard but seemed like nothing we did opened any doors in our ministry or even in our local church to serve. In the beginning part of this year things in the ministry started picking up tremendously and today we send out roughly 1200 daily e-devotions. It's all glory and praise to God for that. We than switched to a church and a lot doors of serving have been opened and it has been busy needless to say. I am so happy for what's in store for our lives in the years to come I am glad that everyday our marriage grows stronger and our friendship and love grow deeper. I truly did marry my best friend. I love you honey!

...

I have no title for this blog, I wouldn't even know how to classify what I am saying or if I even have the words to say. I started this year out with a plan to grow and change my life. There really wasn't a big need to change my life, except that I just felt stuck. I felt like I was in a rut and I didn't know how to get out of it. I was at a point in my life that everything is going pretty great; amazing husband, paid for house, finally a dependable car. I just felt like something was missing in my life though, I didn't know what it was. We have an amazing roommate that is more family to us than roommate. God truly knew what He was doing when He brought her into my life 11 years ago and than brought her back into my life when I was single as my roommate 3 years ago. We had been able to travel and see our close friends in Savannah and although I missed them I really really enjoyed our visits with them and the freedom that we could take off at a drop of a hat and go see them. We even really enjoyed their church and said that if God ever moved us to Savannah we would have already found our home church. Even still everything was going good from the outside. I was dissatisfied with life. I felt a emptiness in life. I felt like I was missing something and lacking something. I still don't really know what it was but I know that in the past 4 months my life has changed that I have learned so much and feel like I have grown leaps and bounds and yet the last 4 months hasn't been all that fun at times. Even in the past few weeks I have come to the point that I am truly enjoying reading my bible and finally feel like I am understanding it in a way I have never have. The stories I have known are becoming real. I also have in the past month really sensed a change in my physical body as I have begun to regularly work out. I feel my strength returning and I feel my physical body changing as well. I feel that my marriage is strengthening. I am finding such a peace in my life that has been missing for awhile. I feel that I am returning to my first love as the bible would say. I am enjoying my walk with God more and feel His presence in my life more and more each day.

2012...to be continued

So this year is nothing like I expected it would be. We have ups and downs; stress and relief; happiness and sadness. Earlier this year the hubs and I made a decision to switch churches. We do not take that decision lightly especially now being married and wanting to start a family. There were lots of reasons we left but the biggest one was the feeling of being overlooked a lot. It seemed like a struggle to get involved and stay involved. I had personally been attending this church for 6 years and I can't really name someone who I would call up in a time of need or emergency. I have been silent of this front for a lot of reasons. We still know people who attend this church and it is a larger church in our area and I know that they are doing a lot of good things however it wasn't the right fit for us. No we aren't looking for the perfect church because it doesn't exist but a church were you feel welcomed and like family and were people actually talk to you is what we craved. We craved fellowship with other believers. I felt like I could stay at home and watch church on tv or livestream  on the internet and get the same amount of fellowship as walking into the church. We wanted to be missed if we weren't there and checked on if we suddenly didn't show up. Maybe churches are that way anymore but it sure should be. However God lead us to a gem of a church on Easter Sunday we were visiting with my in-laws and we haven't left since. It is so refreshing being there and having people talk to you and for people to even recognize if you miss your normal service (we have 2 sunday morning services). It has been so easy to get involved in church activites and ministries. That was the first big change that happened a high you could say. As we entered into the high of finding an amazing church we gained another high of finding out we were expecting our first little love. Unfortunately I miscarried within 2 weeks of finding out and our little love was called home to heaven. We had a huge stress relief come with the purchase of our new car a Kia Sorento. Before we had this vehicle we never left the house literally we would very rarely leave the house and take our vehicle. Our van would leave us stranded at the drop of a hat and when you have a husband or any loved one that is wheelchair dependent it doesn't make for an easy situation. Especially when people couldn't figure out what was wrong for so long. We went on our honeymoon in May. It was wonderful and relaxing. We spent 7 days in Orlando and though we didn't see much it was exactly what the doctor ordered.  We came home and hit the ground running. We got involved at church and in a couple of weeks our youth program will begin for this fall and we are both involved in it. Our minister Jesus Saves International has taken off. We now send out over 600 daily e-devotions. God has truly blessed us. We have been able to construct a new studio that the hubs will be able to use to speak into the lives of many through weekly video podcasts. God has been gracious enough to allow 22 people to get saved thru the ministry. God gets all the glory and honor for everything. I spent most of the summer watching our nieces while my brother and sister-in-law worked. It helped grow the bound even more however we are thankful that that particular season has come to a close for now. I continue to walk on this weight loss journey as it has been slow and hard but steadily I push on never giving up. I am so excited to see what the rest of this year holds for us and where God will continue to take us.

Today I thank God for unanswered prayers!

I should preface this by saying that I believe God answers every prayer we pray as either yes, no, or wait. So more importantly I thank God for those prayers He answered no to. I know that had He healed my mom I wouldn't have moved to Iowa and had I not moved to Iowa I wouldn't have had to move back to Florida and live completely on my own and date a guy that didn't treat me the way I was also taught a real man treats a woman; which means I wouldn't have gone thru the break up that lead to me getting onto e-harmony which lead me to meet the man of my dreams that treated me exactly how I was also told I was worth being treated and I wouldn't have married him and be serving with him in ministry now or attending a small church right around the corner from my house. I know that the life I lead right now is God's perfect will for my life. God could have said ok to those other prayers that I thought I really really really wanted but I know every no was preparation for the season of life I am in right now. God started preparing me at 9 years old for my husband. My mom was diagnosed when I was 9 with leukemia and at that point we kids had to start stepping up to the plate more and more with chores and different responsibilities around the house. If we hadn't moved to Columbus where my mom was diagnosed with the leukemia we wouldn't have necessarily moved to Florida which might have changed other aspects of my life but I wouldn't here where I am now and with who I am now. I would never have meet my best friend Michelle is as close to the sister I never had growing up that I could have without sharing any blood relation. I also wouldn't have my 2 wonderful stepsisters and my precious half-sister. I know that the pain that I felt and endured from all the no's God gave me was totally worth all of the blessings in my life. I would go thru it all again in order to be here now. God ordained every step in my life and He knew what I would have to endure in order to be the wife I needed to be and the mother one day I will be. He knew that I would have to have the strength not just physically but emotionally to have an interdependent marriage. Something I never thought I would have. While my marriage is different than anyone elses I know at the core of it, it is very much the same. I know that the difficulties and challenges that I face in my life serve to remind me that I am not in control; that God is in control and He has ordained my steps. I live the most amazing life and I sit back in awe and wonder of how I could be so blessed in order to deserve this and the truth of the matter is I don't; I don't deserve any of the blessings God has given me. First and foremost I don't deserve the gift of salvation and I could never do anything to deserve it; I can't be good enough, I can't work hard enough; can't read the bible enough; or even pray enough to deserve the amazing gift I received at 5 years old thru Jesus dying on the cross. I fail my Jesus so many times a day it seems like and all I know is I am so glad that God is far more patient with me than I would be or can be with other people. I have been listening to John Waller the past few days in worship during my quiet times and this song sums up the most of what I feel. 

Of course the title of this blog also reminds me of a country song as well